hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
