HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
