i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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