At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
