I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Your cock deserves a montage
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
