i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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