Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
