Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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