im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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