I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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