See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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