does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
