It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
