Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
