I just pynch a tree in the face
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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