I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
