I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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