using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize