I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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