sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
