I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
