but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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