fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
