the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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