if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
