Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
