Sponge bath it is.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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