i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
