How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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