Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
