i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
