so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
