so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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