Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
