You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
