Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
