# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Someone shit on the floor
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
