What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
