There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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