So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
