is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
