my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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