i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
