how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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