i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize