Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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