He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
