I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
