I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
