Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
