I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
