its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
