He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
