If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
