we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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