Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We got so high we made milksteak
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
