we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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