No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
