At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
