Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
