after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
