Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
